ALL THINGS ELGIN
HOME ON THE RANGE
So you want to buy a few head of cows and become a cowboy....Well Sirs, let me tell ya'll about New Years Eve.....Now first off let me tell ya'll about my truck and Dad's trailer....My old truck is a 1990 crew cab, dually diesel. Used to be silver, the door knob is broke off on the driver's side and the window won't roll down..It'll roll down half ways on the other side. It has a power steering leak and it shakes rattles and rolls down the road at a top speed of 55 mph pulling a trailer and has a tendency to die when making right turns.
The trailer is a homemade stock trailer that was widened some to haul longhorn steers. And it's made on a trailer house axle and tires are hard to find, another problem is that if it sits too long the tires will roll off the rims. It's in need of new lights, flooring, paint, and somebody that knows how to weld. Doin the math and figurin the profits on calves I figured I could buy a new truck and trailer in 243 years and 6 months.
Back to tuesday...I got an old longhorn cow that just had a calf , was having female problems that are too nauseating to talk about in polite company. She needed to go to the vet--about 15 miles.....Got her and the calf penned the nite before...Hooked up the trailer the nite before..so far so good.....waited for daylight and went to load her..two flats on the trailer.....pulled them off and went to town and got them fixed , came home put em back on.....Truck wouldn't start...try to jump it --no go--call brother Kyle.
He's done got smart and sold out....doesn't even own a trailer.....Says to call brother Lane--says he's got two trailers---one that's his wife's fancy trailer and a stock trailer......Call Lane...he's on his way..but I try cranking the truck one more time and it starts.......Back around and load Missy and her calf and take off....By now it's misting rain purty good and there is no heater or defroster in the truck so the one window that will roll down has to stay rolled down....The windshield wipers now only have one speed which is about as fast as an earthworm, but is a tad faster if you turn the switch on and off by hand.
Finally get to the vets office and this lady vet wants me to back up to a little loading chute...I ask if she's kiddin...and by that time I've got another flat....Another vet, Jeff Shroeder comes out and we're sorta dog kin so we have a high old time for a few minutes and get Missy worked on and he says something to the effect that, "Cows are a strange addiction, a few minutes of pleasure for a whole lot of pain." I change my other flat....and I'm wonderin just why I didn't oil my boots because my socks are wet along with the rest of me. and I get back home and all this before noon.
So if you still want to be a cowboy come on over, I got some dead trees that have fallen over fences and a water gap to fix....and I'll start you out at the same wages I'm drawin---all the pinto beans and cornbread you can eat.
By Terry Cole, Raconteur in Residence
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The Elgin Chronicles
